Snowball Fights, chapter 1

A note (or two): This takes place after the movie! If you haven't seen the Ed Edd n Eddy movie, you HAVE to see it (try youtube).
This is a slash story with romantic LOVE between Edd and Eddy. If you are against this pairing, or slash/homosexuality in general, please do not read this fanfic!

LIES, SPIES, AND SNOWBALL FIGHTS by SWEETEGGROLL
Chapter One; "Snowcones, of all things!"

It was an average, wintry day in the Peach Creek cul-de-sac. The morning sun crept into the clear sky, causing the frost among the bare trees to shimmer in its wake. On the ground was a thick blanket of snow, freshly fallen the night before.

The white ground gave way under Eddy's feet with a gentle whispering sound as he walked in reverse circles in front of his house, trying to hurriedly zip up a brand new jacket.

"This stupid thing!" He grunted loudly as he violently pulled against the stuck zipper. "I TOLD her that I wanted the black one! Purple is sucha… sissy color!"

Ed beamed as he watched his friend struggle with his new, very purple jacket. "All brawn and no brains makes Eddy a dull boy," he dared to comment, and then even loomed over the short boy with a silly grin and said; "Have you tried asking nicely?"

"Ask…" Eddy looked stumped. "My JACKET? ED, jackets don't TALK you idiot!"

But before he saw it coming, Ed had leaned over in front of him, cupping the sides of his mouth as he whispered to the rebellious zipper. Eddy rolled his eyes in agitation and turned away from him abruptly, rapidly zipping up his jacket. He froze in his place in surprise, but upon hearing Ed chuckle behind him, brushed away the tiny miracle. "Let's go get Double D."

The two trudged through the foot of snow to Edd's house. Eddy kept trying to warm his face with his gloves while Ed never seemed to tire of watching his breath materialize in front of him.

"Look Eddy! This one looks like a bunny!"

"Yeah, yeah." Eddy ignored him and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He shrugged his shoulders trying to warm his ears while he gave his friend a command. "Go ring the doorbell, Ed."

"Four steps ahead of ya, Eddy!" was all he said before a snowball whizzed past Eddy and smacked into the doorbell.

"Sweet aim, Lumpy!"

"Ding Dong!" Ed yelled as he slugged another handful of snow. This time, it hit a window.

"Ding Dong!" Another snowball plowed into the doorbell and they heard another obnoxiously musical tone from inside Double D's house.

On cue, the nearly adolescent boy wearing the usual black hat and an unusual red sweater with a reindeer on it opened his front door with a bemused look on his face. "What on earth are you-"

"Ding Dong!" Another snowball jetted past Eddy and smacked Double D in the face.

Eddy was in tears, laughing loudly at the sight while Ed choked back his own amusement. Although he felt somewhat apologetic, it was still pretty darn funny.

Unimpressed, Double D single-handedly wiped the snow from his face. "Who didn't see that one coming," he said nonchalantly. Regaining his composure, he continued; "I'm sure you two understand by now that every weekend is reserved for a particularly increased number of sticky notes in this household. Therefore, I cannot attend you two today, that is, until I'm finished."

"What the heck are you talkin' about??" Eddy groaned. "You're seriously STILL being punished? It's been over a month already!"

Double D's shoulders drooped a little as he confessed; "It seems my parents were a little stricter than I had previously determined… Considering that I returned home safely should have eased their minds the slightest, but I guess I was wrong. They're just afraid I'll do it again, I imagine."

Ed started to shake as fear coursed through him. "Never again!" He started to remember how his mother took away his tub of gravy, his comic books, and bolted his door and window for an entire two weeks. He dropped to his knees in the snow, lost in his own memories. "We will never scam again Mom! I promise!"

The thought went through Eddy's mind briefly. He considered helping Double D finish his pile of sticky-noted chores so they could get a head start on their "youthful entrepreneurship," as he now liked to call it… now that the term "scam" is technically forbidden in the cul-de-sac.

"We'll let's get it over with, then." Eddy said, shouldering his way into his pal's house.

Double D smiled warmly and touched his chest. His heart swelled to see that his friends would take the time to help him with his own chores, but just as soon as he smiled, anxiety took over and he jumped to stop Eddy. "Wh-why Eddy, I'm flattered that you'd offer your assistance, however…" he trailed off, thinking about what had happened the last time he left Eddy unsupervised in his house with unattended sticky notes.

Eddy casually brushed Double D's hand off of his shoulder and let himself out. "Fine then. Who needs ya." He grabbed Ed by the collar and dragged him along through the snow. "C'mon Ed, we'll do it all ourselves."

"Let's make gravy cakes, Eddy."

"Shut up Ed."

"G-gentlemen, if you'd just wait ten or fifteen minutes I should be done by then!" But the other two continued walking unfazed. Double D harrumphed and shut his door, intending on finishing up those sticky notes.

~*

"Alright peoples," Eddy announced to the snowy cul-de-sac, leaning over a scantily made booth, "Get 'em while they're hot!"

"You nean throthen, Etty." Ed corrected him with a snowcone stuck to his blue, hanging tongue.

"Who asked you?" Eddy demanded, pulling the long blue tongue until it snapped back into Ed's mouth; "You're s'posed to be makin' more snowcones, Ed!"

"But Eddy, what about the flavoring??"

Eddy pondered for a minute or two, then said: "KEWL-AID!" He made a snowball and hurled it towards Ed's house, "Fetch, Ed!"

Ed panted like an excited dog and chased after the snowball, eventually launching at his house and smashing into his front door. A minute later, he emerged from the wreckage with packets of Kewl-aid, "I got it, Eddy!"

As the boy ran back on all fours with the packets of flavored sugar in his mouth, his sister appeared in the remains of what once was her front door and growled. She was in her pink faux-satin pajamas and slippers with a glass of milk in her hand, vibrating as her fist clenched with anger.

"ED! YOU IDIOT! You let all the cold air in!"

Ed looked back as he handed the Kewl-aid to an excited Eddy and said; "I'm sorry Sarah!"

"You better fix it or I'm telling MOM!"

"NO don't tell mom, baby sister!" Ed started running towards his house saying, "I'll fix it!" but Eddy grabbed the back of his coat, pulling him back.

"Ed! Get over here and make those snowcones!"

"ED!"

"Snowcones, NOW!"

"I'M TELLING MOM!"

In a panic, a sweating Ed grabbed the wooden sign which said 'Snowcones!!!' and ripped it off of the top of the booth, distracting Eddy.

"You're wreckin' my props!" Eddy yelled as he watched a good ten minutes of hard labor go to waste.

Ed ran over to his house hurriedly with the hunk of wood. He quickly fastened it where his door once was as Sarah stood silently and watched with her arms crossed. "That's better." She approved. "Now make me breakfast!"

Ed opened the makeshift door and glared at Sarah. "You're a big girl Sarah, make your own breakfast."

Eddy stood there steaming in anger as he watched Sarah, yet again, distract Ed from his extremely important sca-… er, "enterprise". The snow started to melt around his feet as he burned with rage. He watched Ed's spoiled little sister yank him into the house. Now, all that Eddy had was a screwed up booth, an empty supply of snowcones, a couple of worthless packets of Kewl-aid, and worst of all: no customers. Growling, he threw the Kewl-aid in the snow and started to stomp away.

"I give up."

"What's this now?" Double D approached the remnants of a once-shabby, now-
unusable snowcone stand.

"Forget it." Eddy groaned, kicking snow at it. "It ain't working out. 'Specially since Sarah took Ed. He was gonna make all the snowcones."

Double D laughed, shielding his mirth with a mitten, "Snowcones in the winter? Well, that's preposterous!"

"What're you laughin' at Sockhead?"

"Well," he said over one last chuckle, "you won't get any customers until you appeal
to your audience, Eddy. That's what entrepreneurship is all about."

Eddy glared at Double D, "And where've you been anyway? If you got out here sooner it probably would've saved us a lot of time! You coulda told me that half an hour ago."

"Well, Eddy," Double D explained as he fixed up the stall, "if only your patience allowed you to wait just a few more minutes we could have worked on a more promising business arrangement together. But no, you had to go out on your own and set up a…" he chuckled again, "snowcone booth. Really, Eddy, what convinced you that people would want to buy snowcones when it's just barely ten degrees out here?"

As Double D continued to lecture him, he failed to notice that Eddy had taken a small icicle off of a nearby tree and was holding it his gloved hand. In one swift motion, the troublemaking preteen slipped the ice down his friend's collar.

"-focusing on what the customer wants, given the proper ciiirrrcumsstAAANCE!!"

Double D suddenly jumped back, away from Eddy, hastily trying to pry open the back of his jacket with his mittens. "Chilly! Chilly! Chilly!!" he cursed, shivering as he danced about, pulling at the cold spot in his sweater. "E-E-Eddy! What did you--??"
Eddy was trying desperately to hold back laughter as he watched Double D jerk forward with a "Good lord!" Apparently the ice had traveled down to his pants. Double D was frantically shaking his tiny legs, trying to rattle the frozen substance out of place while getting more hearty laughs out of Eddy.

"This isn't funny!" Double D shuddered, his knees shaking, "I could catch a cold!"

As he tried to shake the ice out of his pants, Double D suddenly slipped on the icy snow. He reached out to grasp at whatever was closest to him, which turned out to be Eddy's new jacket, and the two tumbled to the ground. Eddy flopped into the freezing blanket of snow with a hard thud, followed by Double D, whose poofy red-orange jacket made his impact less crushing and more of an annoyance. The boy on the bottom shuffled, trying to push him off, but couldn't seem to find his body in the huge mass of feather-down jacket that surrounded him. Instead, his wettened gloves kept slipping around on the fabric. He gave up and slammed his fists into the snow.

"Hey- get up!" Eddy grunted, "My butt's getting wet."

"S-sorry Eddy!" Double D stammered, quickly trying to stand up, only to slip again
and fall against Eddy's chest. "I'm trying-"

"C'mon, Sockhead, you're so weak!" Eddy pushed him up, only to cause Double D to fall on his side and in a tangle of legs, the two of them rolled underneath the snowcone booth.

"Double D!" Eddy growled, now confined between three walls of wood, the snow all over his back, and a sweaty kid squirming on top of him. His angry glare suddenly
dissipated and he started laughing, "You're so pathetic!"

"I… what?" Double D appeared startled, almost hurt, looking down at Eddy's face.

"Pathetic?!"

Eddy snickered.

"Pathetic?" Double D questioned again, the dejection starting to set in. "I-I mean, I know I'm not very physically built, but…"

"Tch, forget it already will ya?"

"Well, you didn't have to say 'pathetic', Eddy. I'd like to think that I have a few
redeeming qualities about my person. The term "pathetic" implies that I'm a... well,
a failure, really…"

After a long and uncomfortable silence, Eddy could feel the back of his head getting very wet, but he couldn't summon the words to convey his discomfort. It was either because Double D was starting to weigh on his chest, making it harder to breathe, or because he almost wanted to apologize. The latter was not an option, however… at least not to Eddy. Suddenly, it dawned on him:

"…Are we stuck?"

"I believe we are, Eddy."

"Seriously??" Eddy started squirming again, trying to kick the snowcone stand apart when all of the sudden, Double D tensed up on top of him.

"Your knees are going to hit me!" He panicked, "Calm down Eddy, please!"

Eddy grunted. He was starting to feel the snow seep through his jeans and his butt was getting numb. He looked up at Double D as if saying "Figure a way out of this, will ya".

A thought hit him, and Double D grinned at the new idea. "Unzip me, Eddy."

Eddy just stared at him, completely flabbergasted. He gulped slowly, and breathed;
"What??"

"M-my jacket." Double D started to sweat extensively. When did it get so warm? "If we're able to discard of this bulky article of clothing, I'll manage to slip out easily.

Eddy nodded, feeling very uncomfortable as he hurriedly tried to unzip Double D's jacket.  He cautiously slipped his arms in between the both of them and felt around for the zipper, trying to avoid touching his friend as much as possible.  He reached under Double D's fluffy yellow scarf, which was actually quite annoying and suffocating and felt around his neck for the… stupid… 'Where is that stupid thing??' Eddy thought to himself as his fingers fumbled around the top of the jacket collar.  

'AH!'  When he finally grabbed the small tab, he started to pull slowly, which caused the scarf to loosen in front of his hands, and a scent wafted into the air around the two of them, one that made him think of honey-scented shampoo.

'Why does he keep staring at me?'  Eddy gulped.  'Look away already, geez you're breathing on me!  Aw man, why am I so nervous?  What's with all this sweat?!'  As he shakily tried to unzip his friend, a new scent invaded his personal space. It smelled like lotion; like a spring meadow after a light rain…  'What the hell Double D, boys aren't supposed to smell like that!!'

"Your hands are shaking." Double D noted curiously.

"Shut up!" Eddy barked, "It's cold!"

"Oh I see." Double D said coolly as he looked down at Eddy, who was greatly concentrating on the zipper. Trying to pull it down without actually touching Double D, he essentially tried sucking in his own belly, getting a giggle out of the boy on top of him. "Your cheeks are completely red too. Maybe you should have worn a knit cap."

"There!" Eddy said victoriously, finally unzipping Double D.

The scrawny kid in the poofy jacket pulled his arms out one at a time, and then finally ducked down flat against Eddy, his face pressed against his chest, rousing a noise of embarrassment from the shorter kid beneath him. He gently slid the jacket out with one arm and tossed it onto the snow. Then he slowly rolled off of Eddy, freeing them both from the confines of the shabby snowcone booth.

"Ah~!" Eddy jumped off of the ground and breathed in the cold air, finally able to stretch his legs and stand.

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus," came a goofy voice beside them.

"Ed!" The two boys cried out in unison, frozen to the ground as they stared blankly at their friend.  Then one asked: "How long have you been standing there?"

Ed shuffled towards them as he tried to button up his brown, wintry coat.  "Since She-Who-Loathes-Burnt-Toast let me back outside, Double D.  What were you guys doing under there?"

~*